Pre - Wedding jitters as early as 7 months before the big day!

I want to start off by saying that I love my Mark with all my heart, but unexpectedly, I am starting to feel very nervous when I think about the wedding. I feel like in a way I'm losing my so-called “profligate” life since all my life, all I think is about myself  but in reality, I am no longer really young to be getting married. I'll be almost 26 next year and h2b is turning 32 this December. I do not doubt my future marriage or anything. I tend to easily get anxious and feel like getting sick and honest to goodness, I don’t want to feel this way.  

Yes, still seven more months to go before I walk down the aisle, but as early as now, I am already having wedding jitters. Oh dear Lord, how long do I have to put up with these jitters and keep myself from experiencing these negative thoughts? 7 more months, is still a long way to go. I think I really have to keep my mind from thinking too much, and start to relax. But how can I relax?

I always wanted to dream about my wedding day, but for some reasons, every time I dream about it – nothing good is happening on my dream. As in the wedding was real disaster! Oh God, I don’t want this to happen on my wedding day. Please?

And since I have been thinking about the wedding too much lately, of course, chances are id dream of it– Just like what happened earlier this morning. 

Let me just share the super negative experiences I've had on my dream. As in every suppliers we booked in *REAL LIFE* were total failures in my dreams. (but I know for sure, this wouldn’t happen in real life – I trust my suppliers so much and I know they wouldn’t let this happen to any of their events)

So here are the details. Disclaimer: This was just a dream!!! 

·         It’s already wedding day and I woke up at 2PM in the afternoon knowing that the wedding is 4PM. So meaning, no more photo ops, hair and make up must be done in an instant. As I look for my wedding dress, I found out that I have no wedding gown, so I just grabbed my red angry bird t-shirt in lieu of the wedding gown. Due to the frustration of wearing a wedding gown, my MOH and I decided to go Baclaran to find a wedding dress that would fit me. But since we’re already running out of time, we had to go back to the hotel in an instant.

·         I called my HMUA to have my make-up done, but unfortunately, canceled my appointed. (But she assured me this wouldn’t happen J Thank you so much MV) and since she canceled my booking with her, I had to use J&J powder. haha

·         My photographer didn’t want to take pictures of me and for some reasons he backed out being my PV

·         We had to ride a cab going to the church since the bridal car didn’t show up on time ( I know for sure this wouldn’t be an issue with them)

·         And since I woke up late, we arrived the church 2 hours later, so the officiating priest had to cancel the wedding since he thought that I am Julia Roberts – the Runaway bride.

I know pretty sure that this wouldn’t happen on my wedding day. Just like what most people would say, things that happened during your dream wouldn’t happen in real life. But I guess this already serves as a warning to me – and that is not to be too lax, even if we still have 7 more months to go.

Blurting out the negative thoughts

Wedding day is fast approaching, -- and truly, Mark and I are so excited but on the other hand, both of us are also nervous. (Or should I say, only ME) – I’m the only one who is so freaking worried all throughout the engagement process.

While Mark and I both wanted to have a perfect and intimate wedding, we are also having a hard time trying to figure out where to start first. At the back of our minds, we are a bit anxious about the upshot of the plans we are doing right now. Some would say that a wedding planner can help ease these thoughts, but there is no way we are going to hire a wedding planner. Simply because, that is an extra cost on our wedding budget. Thank you to my dear friend Rodel C., for offering your free services! This might be a big step on your career. LOL. (It's so nice to have true friends who are willing to help out on our wedding day without shedding too much of our wedding budget.) ♥

To ease the negativity that I am having right, now might as well blurt it out. :D

·         I can’t get enough thinking about our wedding, hoping everything would turn our perfectly.

·         I am doubting every suppliers – thinking that they would run away and don’t show up on our wedding day

·         Thinking: what if the bridal car doesn’t show up on time? As well as with the HMUA?

·         What if it RAINS on our wedding day!

·         What if my gown doesn’t fit me!?

·         What if the bridal store we are coordinating with got broke and they have to close? How about our down-payments?

·         What if the plans we are trying to envision do not turn out so well?

Frankly, there are so many off-putting thoughts I have in mind, which make me feel pretty anxious all throughout the wedding stage. But still, I am so excited about our wedding and can’t stop thinking about it.

Nothing is absolutely wrong, perhaps this is what most brides feel before they get married. Wedding jitters, I suppose.