I have written something about our first and second wedding anniversary. It seems like a tradition to share something on the memorable day.
Youthful or inexperienced, I am learning to be a good wife and a good mum. I see decade-long marriages fail from our loved ones. Marriage is trying and growing together and growing to be a better woman is often uncomfortable or even painful. I have learned from the film Cinderella. “Be kind and have courage.” I am trying to be less selfish, more considerate, and always generously with love and kindness in our marriage.
When I think about the little anniversaries in our life, our first date, our first kiss, the first time we said “I love you”, I think I might enjoy these small markers even more than our wedding anniversary. These things are the things we’ve built everything on. And later, the first time I introduced him to my family; our first weekend away, our first fight.I of course don’t have most of these dates jotted down, but when I think back to them, I can pull them out of the depths of the past decade and recall specific details if I try hard enough. The skirt I wore. I can even remember what he write in the letter from him.
To have someone who sees you and gets you and accepts you, who has seen the very worst parts of you, who has been everything to you, and who has let you be you, to be the best you you didn’t even know was inside of you…that is a special, special thing. 3 years represents so much- hard work and good times (and bad times) and everything in between. It’s a period of great growth and change. It’s a deep, passionate, quiet, comfortable love. It’s holding someone in your arms, in all of their flawed imperfection, and saying “I see you. All of you. And I love you all the same.”
I am not going to write a blog post to show off the happy marriage life as happiness is always in the other’s eyes. Instead, I am going to write the little things I love and the small things that count.
Ahem, and so I’ll begin.
Dear Ethan (Cheng, Orange, Husband),
I love that you’re a good dad to Ivan, though he clearly likes me more than you. Boys love mama when they’re still kids. He is learning from you everyday. I am glad of that as you would be a good example.
I love that you drive me to and from work for three years.
I love that you don’t complain when I let my dirty or clean clothes pile up in laundry baskets or in our bedroom.
I love that you are good at cooking lobsters. And when you tell me not to eat all of them after you finish the cooking. (Wink)
I love that you do me a favor when I am carrying a heavy shopping bag.
I love that, for the most part, you get me.
I received a bunch of red roses for the first wedding anniversary. I would be excited if I can receive a gift for the 3rd wedding anniversary as there’s no gift for the second anniversary. Keep your expectations to a minimum and you’ll be less disappointed that way.